Hugging My Younger Self: Compassion Focussed Therapy in Action

Have you seen this trend on social media? People creating an image of themselves hugging their younger self?

I couldn’t resist, because it beautifully brings to life a powerful concept from Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT): "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility."

How Our History Shapes Our Present

Our experiences today are deeply shaped by our life’s history and the evolution of the human mind.

• As humans, we have no control over the brain or body we are born into.

• As children, we have little power to shape our environment. Sadly, many people experience adverse events or traumas that were completely beyond their control to prevent.

• Even ordinary or mundane experiences can lead to future unhelpful patterns if they are processed and understood in unhelpful ways through the mind of a child.

• As adults, we carry the ways in which these earlier events shaped us. We carry the automatic thoughts, memories, emotions, urges, or behaviours that were laid down by those earlier experiences. These can manifest as struggles with anxiety and depression.

• As an adult, you are now responsibile for that child that lives within, how do you want to show up for them?

  
  

While we cannot change the past, we can shape our future, starting today. The experiences we create for ourselves now will shape the person we later become.

Sometimes this process feels incredibly difficult. Creating a different future for ourselves can mean doing hard things, facing discomfort, experiencing failure, and having to try again. It doesn’t seem fair, and perhaps it isn’t. And this is why we need compassion.

Understanding True Compassion

Compassion is sometimes misunderstood as simply saying nice things to yourself or "letting yourself off the hook." When understood this way, it can rightly feel unhelpful, false, and empty.

A more helpful definition of compassion is: “...a sensitivity to suffering in self and others with a commitment to try to alleviate and prevent it.”

Compassion is about understanding and acting. Today, holding compassion for myself means:

1. Recognising all those younger versions of me within.

2. Acknowledging, without judgement, the thoughts and feelings they bring.

3. Offering comfort when needed.

4. Choosing what direction I want us to move towards.

If the younger version of me in that picture were here today (and she often is), here is what I would tell her:

• You are allowed to have fun; you don’t have to be serious all the time.

• What you want and need is important, too.

• It’s okay to feel scared; those feelings don’t have to stop you from doing what matters to you.

• I like hanging out with you.

  
  

Ready to Begin Your Journey?

If you are looking for support in your journey to care for yourself and shape a better future, and you want to bring a compassionate focus to your growth and healing, I'm here to help.

I offer individual psychology sessions where we work together to understand your past, acknowledge your present, and bravely choose your future path.

Start building a compassionate future today. Learn more about my individual sessions or get in touch. I'd love to hear from you.