How we change

We are creatures of habit and change is hard. Even when we choose to change, it can be tough to make it stick. It’s common to falter, to give up and hopefully to try again. 

Whether you’re trying to start something new or leave something behind; understanding the natural process of change can help us move through it. 

From the late 1970s, Prochaska and DiClemente developed a model describing 5 stages of a change cycle. Here they are, along with tips to try at each stage. 

Pre-contemplation  

Pre-contemplation is the stage where you don’t recognise that there is a problem.

Imagine a messy garden: the flowers are dying, the weeds are overgrown, there’s garden furniture and tools strewn along the path. 

You might be thinking: “It’s not a problem, I don’t use the garden” “I don’t care if it’s untidy” 

If you think you’re in this stage, maybe you’re hearing from others around you that they are concerned or that they see a problem. You could try to listen with curiosity, take a step back and reflect on the situation. 

Contemplation 

The Contemplation stage is when we start to recognise that there might be a problem, but we aren’t sure what (if anything) we want to do about it. We might have a lot of mixed feelings and be ambivalent about acting. 

Maybe you trip over some trailing plants in the garden or notice rust forming on the garden tools. Maybe you start to think it would be nice to be able to host a BBQ here one day. 

You might be thinking: “I’m not sure it’s worth the hassle” or “I know I need to tackle this, but I’m not ready.” 

If you’re in this stage, you could try: writing a pros and cons list or journalling to help you understand what thoughts and feelings might be getting in the way. You could also look out for other people’s success stories; this can help build confidence and motivation. 

Preparation 

The preparation stage is when you want to make a change, and you’re figuring out how to. You start to gather information and tools. You might ask a friend or a professional for help. 

Coming back to our garden analogy, you’ve maybe looked out the wheelie bin, checked the weather for the weekend, and researched what plants are suited to your garden. 

You might be thinking: “I know how to tackle this” “I’ve got a plan” “I’m going to start this week” 

If you’re in this stage you could try: asking for help to make a plan, joining a group for support, or sharing you plans with others to keep you accountable. 

Action 

The action stage is when we start putting our plans into action.  

In the garden, you’ve picked up the tools, cleared the weeds and planted new flowers. 

You might be thinking: “I’m doing it” “I feel great about the progress I’ve made so far.” 

If you’re in this stage, well done. Try to recognise and celebrate the efforts that you’ve made to get this far. Keep reviewing progress towards your goals. You can share your success and plans with others to help stay on track. 

Maintenance  

The maintenance stage is when we try to keep up the changes we’ve made. 

In the garden, this might mean watering the plants and putting tools back in the shed after using them. 

You might be thinking: “I want to keep on top of this”  

If you’re in this stage, try thinking about how you can build new routines and habits into your daily life.  

Need help with making a change? 

It’s normal to get stuck in any of the stages of change, and it’s common to fall back or between different stages. 

Whether you're looking to change a "bad habit", an old pattern, looking for personal growth, or struggling with a complusive disorder, If you’re looking for a bit more support to work towards what matters to you, therapy could help.

I offer free 15-minute compatibility calls, or please reach out by email with any questions.